There are probably more divergent ideas about motherhood than about any other role that humans have. Throughout history the pendulum swings back and forth between “right” ways to be a mother. Since everybody has a mother, everybody feels they can make statements about motherhood. Mothers are idealized as “saints,” blamed for their children’s every flaw, and made to feel guilty for working or for not working at a job. Meanwhile, most mothers are just trying to get through the day and keep their lives in balance.

Almost 35 years after “Leave it to Beaver” went off the air, mothers are still confronting the myth of the perfect mother every day. While today’s mothers have so many more opportunities than June Cleaver had, they also face many more conflicting messages, both external and internal. Mothers today work inside the home, outside the home, full time, part time, and stay at home full time. They send their young children to day care, preschool, playgroups, and to be cared for by relatives; they send their older children out into the world. They become mothers in their teens, 20s, 30s and 40s. They become mothers through adoption, artificial insemination, surrogacy, and the usual way. They are single mothers and step-mothers. There is no single “right” way to be a mother. There are many types and kinds.

But one thing binds all mothers together: They want the best for their children, and they are trying hard to be good mothers. And, at the same time, they are trying to be themselves. For many mothers, motherhood means reconciling the person they were before having children and the person they still are when they are away from their children with all that comes with being “Mom.”

Fortunately, all mothers can find support. There are lots of ways to get together with other mothers to talk, laugh, have fun, trade advice and share clothes, toys and even child care. Motherhood can be difficult at times, but there is no going back, and it is the most rewarding and wonderful role you will ever have.

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